


There's Something 'Bout Her Stare

by cobblestaubrey



Series: figure my heart out [2]
Category: RuPaul's Drag Race RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, F/F, High School AU, Jackie is such an idiot, Minigolf, literally just projecting my insecurities onto jackie cox
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-18
Updated: 2020-06-18
Packaged: 2021-03-04 01:21:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,023
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24785329
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cobblestaubrey/pseuds/cobblestaubrey
Summary: "There's something 'bout her stare, makes you nervous, so you say things that you don't mean."Jackie and Jan go on a date, and Jackie is an idiot. These two things cannot currently exist without each other.
Relationships: Jackie Cox/Jan Sport
Series: figure my heart out [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1792651
Comments: 7
Kudos: 47





	There's Something 'Bout Her Stare

**Author's Note:**

> Title and that description quote from the song "If You're Too Shy (Let Me Know)" by the 1975. Last title was also by the 1975. I love the 1975.
> 
> Hey guys! I think I’m gonna make this a series or something, so, like, this is the date, but I may write opening night at some point as well. 
> 
> (Also Jan’s mom is 100% Alex Michelle, but a version of Alexis Michelle where she is also Kris Jenner and really excited all the time LOL)
> 
> (Also, also, I love Dahlia but her drag fits the mean girls style so I’m sorry she’s the villain I love her I’m sorry LOL)

The musical went _amazing_. 

Jackie loved the outfits she got to wear, and she loved the outfits Jan got to wear, too. Both for different reasons, obviously.

Opening night was just the tiniest bit shaky, but everyone took their notes from the director, and pulled off an even better performance Saturday night. 

After the Saturday performance was when most of the theatre kids made their way to New Century, the Chinese restaurant that was ten minutes from their high school. Everyone was still riding on the high of the performance and were way too antsy to be sitting still and eating. Like most musicals, three couples had already been around during the start of the musical, and they were ending with an even six. There was a lot of drama to get to that point, but it all worked out in the end.

Especially for Jan and Jackie, who had been texting every day since Jackie had asked the blonde out. They weren’t _official_ , but Jackie was hoping after their first date, she could ask Jan to be her girlfriend. She definitely didn’t want to get too ahead of herself, so she reeled herself in and just sat next to Jan in the restaurant, trying not to stare at the other girl.

Except halfway through the night, Jan put her hand down, resting it on what little there was left uncovered on her chair, on Jackie’s side. Jackie could see it from the corner of her eye. Was she supposed to take Jan’s hand? Did Jan _want_ Jackie to hold her hand? 

Jackie had literally spent an hour debating on this, but when she finally scootched her hand over to cover Jan’s, she saw a smile spread across the blonde’s face. Jackie definitely regretted not making a move sooner, knowing that Jan would be getting picked up soon. However, she didn’t really mind, because she _did_ make a move eventually, and now she had Jan’s soft hand in her own. 

When Jackie went home that night, she went on her _Instagram_ to text Jan before she went to bed. 

_[jackie.c98] You did amazing tonight, did I tell you that?_

_[itsjustjan] maybe a few times :)_

Jackie’s thumbs had hovered over her screen, before she started to type another message.

_[jackie.c98] I’m sorry I’m so awkward, I spent way too long debating about whether I should hold your hand_

_[itsjustjan] dw abt it, i could tell. i thought it was cute_

_[jackie.c98] Did you purposefully not make the first move just to watch me squirm?_

_[itsjustjan] …_

_[itsjustjan] no comment_

Jackie had huffed, but was still smiling as she continued to text Jan. She had gone to bed with a smile on her face that night. She felt like she was fourteen again, young and infatuated. It was different, now, of course, but that contentment in her heart felt new.

The next Saturday came quick, even though Jackie spent the entire week after the musical thinking about this date. Okay, not the _entire_ week. She still had classes to pay attention in, Jan to text, and homework to complete. But when she wasn’t doing that, you could bet she was thinking about this date. What she’d wear, what she’d say, thinking about Jan in the moonlight, under the artificial lights of the course. 

Now, it wasn’t about thinking anymore, it was about _doing_ (something Jackie wasn’t great at). Because Jackie asked, she knew she had to plan it, but that didn’t make it any less stressful. After deliberating for a while, she decided on minigolf. It was absolutely perfect! Her hands would be occupied the whole time, it was easy to talk about in case they ran out of things to say (which felt impossible, if their texts meant anything), and Jan was super competitive. Sure, Jan wouldn’t think that last part would be a good thing, but Jackie found it adorable how much Jan cared about all facets of life, including the silly stuff.

So, at six o’clock, near the sunset, Jackie arrived at Jan’s door. What Jackie was not expecting was for Jan’s mother to open the door, pulling Jackie in for a hug. “Oh, you look so beautiful! Jan’s been so excited this whole week!” The older woman continued crushing Jackie while spouting out more compliments into Jackie’s ear. 

“Um, thank you. So much.” Jackie responded, finally, when she was let go. She wanted to be polite, but she also had a million thoughts running through her mind, such as _oh, this is where Jan gets it from_ , and _Wait, Jan is_ **_that_ ** _excited?_

Jan ran down the stairs at that point, eyes wide. “Mom! Don’t think I didn’t hear all of that! I told you I’d get the door!”

Her mother clasped her hands together, clearly unapologetic. “Oh, Jan, I’m sorry! I was just so happy! You’re finally going on a real date!” 

Jan blushed, and Jackie could see her raise her foot to stomp it, but held back. Jackie snorted, causing both women to look over to her. 

The brunette’s eyes widened. “Uh, so, are you ready, Jan?” 

Jan nodded, but her mother had other ideas. “Oh, Jan, can I please take a photo before you go? You two look so beautiful!” Jan was certainly not going to say yes, but her mother was already pulling out her phone. 

Jan rolled her eyes, but Jackie tried to smile. “That’d be okay with me.” Jackie said, causing the blonde girl to send her a questioning look. Jackie shrugged, moving towards Jan. 

She had no idea what to do after that. 

“Well?” Jan’s mom started, looking between the two. “Put your arm around her, don’t be shy!” 

Jackie slowly put her arm around Jan’s waist, but found she sort of liked it there after all, anyway.

After Jan’s mother got away with taking way more photos than necessary, the two were out the door and in Jackie’s car. 

“I’m sorry my mom’s so weird.” Jan said as she buckled her seat belt. 

“Eh, it’s alright. She reminds me a lot of you.”

Jan guffawed, then scoffed. “What?”

Jackie laughed, turning the key in the ignition. “Don’t take it as a bad thing, your mom seems really cool.” Jan gave her a look. “Okay, not cool, but fun. She loves you.” 

Jan sat back in her seat, crossing her arms. “Yeah, okay, I guess.” She feigned annoyance, rolling her eyes, but sending Jackie a smile that made Jackie’s heart race. 

They fell into a comfortable silence, until Jan switched on the radio and gasped. “Yes! I love this song!” She shouted, causing Jackie to laugh, because she was sure that Jan would’ve said that regardless of what song had been playing.

The two sang along to the upbeat song, and Jan danced in her seat, leaving the two breathless when the song finished. 

After a few more cycles of Jan finding her “favorite song” on the radio (which was about four other songs), Jackie finally pulled into a parking lot and parked the car. 

“I hope you like minigolf.” Jackie said, pulling her key out of the ignition. 

Jan clapped. “Yeah, who doesn’t?”

When the two walked towards the stand with the golf balls and clubs, their shoulders bumped against each other a few times. Jackie wanted to take her hand, but the walk was so short and she’d soon have her hands full, anyway. 

“I’m gonna kick your ass, by the way.” Jan slipped in as they walked, and Jackie laughed. 

“Sure, Jan.” 

Jan gasped, slapping Jackie on the arm and Jackie shook her head and skipped forward. She quickly paid for both of their necessities, and threw a purple golf ball Jan’s way when she caught up

“You didn’t have to pay.” Jan said, but smiled at the purple ball nevertheless. 

Jackie shrugged. “I asked you out.” 

Jan looked like she wanted to say more, but then she saw a few kids at the stand and realized they’d soon be passed by a few other groups if they didn’t start playing soon. 

When they started playing, Jackie forgot why she hadn’t gone mini-golfing for so long. She had sunk the ball in only two puts, putting her ahead of Jan’s four hits. 

The blonde huffed, crossing her arms. “I’m just rusty.”

“Jan, I haven’t played in like, two years.”

“Beginner’s luck.”

“You are ridiculous.” Jackie said, in absolute adoration. Jan was fun to be around, she bit back at Jackie’s quips and sarcasm, and she filled that bold, daring, Jan-shaped hole that Jackie’s had in her heart. 

Jackie had no idea how the night could get better, until it got worse. At this point, Jackie wished she had noticed who was behind her and Jan when they were getting their putters. 

“Awe, is Jan on her first date?” Jackie’s spine grew cold when she heard that damn voice drawl behind her, and she could see Jan tense up as well.

Neither responded, trying to ignore it, but the voice rang out again. “Is Jan shy? Don’t want to explain why you’re hanging around with Jackie Cox?” 

Jan rolled her eyes, throwing down her putter in frustration. “Why does it matter, Dahlia? This isn’t 2005, anymore, no one cares who hangs out with who.” 

Dahlia scoffed, crossing her arms. “It’s just funny that you think you’re so high and mighty, since you got into some stupid New York school, yet you’re still hanging out with losers.” 

The boy next to Dahlia seemed uncomfortable, but the fact he wasn’t saying anything to stop Dahlia made Jackie dislike him just as much.

“Is this what this is about? Are you still mad that I’m getting out of here?” 

“No, why would I care?”

Jan raised an eyebrow. “So you’re jealous?”

Dahlia laughed, looking away from Jan. “Jealous? Yeah, wrong again. I guess I was wrong, though, too.” Dahlia looked back at Jan, obviously waiting for her to respond. When the blonde, not caring much about literally anything Dahlia had to say, didn’t respond, Dahlia continued. “I always thought you were jealous of the attention I had been getting from boys, but I guess you probably just wanted my attention after all.”

Jan furrowed her eyebrows, cocking her head. “Dahlia, just because I’m gay doesn’t mean I wanted _you._ Also, homophobia in _2020?_ Are you seriously a time traveler? You are fifteen years too late for this.” 

The four heard a voice call out to them, telling them to shut up or at least continue playing if they were going to fight, so Jan picked up her putter and hit the ball, getting it semi-close to the hole. 

Jackie had been watching this all go down, and wasn’t sure if she should say something. 

Dahlia obviously wasn’t done. “I’m not surprised you didn’t want me if this is what your taste gets you.” She nodded her head towards Jackie, causing Jan to ball her hands into fists. 

“I’ll have you know-”

“This isn’t a date.” 

The three others stop to look at Jackie, who has finally spoken up. 

“What?” Dahlia asked, and Jackie looked over to Jan who was equally as shocked. 

“Um, it’s not a date. I’m just thanking her for… for helping me with New York… stuff.” 

Dahlia looked back at Jan, who had yet to speak up, and then again towards Jackie. “Whatever. That just means she’s alone, like always.” She turned towards her presumed date, gesturing ahead. “Come on, we’re skipping this hole.” Dahlia demanded, grabbing his hand and pulling him past the two girls. 

When they were at the next hole, Jackie geared up for her first shot, letting out a little laugh. “I can’t believe that happened. She is not real, that was ridiculous.”

“You think _she_ was ridiculous?” Jan asked, her arms crossed. 

Jackie wasn’t sure what she did wrong, so she nodded. “I… yeah. She was talking like a _Mean Girls_ reject.” Jan continued to stare at Jackie, and the brunette grew nervous. “Are you upset?”

Jan rolled her eyes, uncrossing her arms and grabbing her putter. “Yeah, but not at her.” She bent down, hit her ball into the hole, scooped it back up, and walked away. 

“Jan?” Jackie called out, “I’m still not done with this hole, yet!” 

When the blonde continued walking, Jackie sighed and bent down, hitting the ball too gently towards the small hill, and watching it roll back towards her.

“What goes up must come down.” She muttered, hitting the ball much, _much_ harder. 

When she was done with the hole, she quickly bent down and ran towards Jan, who was facing away from her and getting ready to finish off the next hole. “Jan, wait, what’s wrong?” 

Jan turned towards her swiftly, her voice heavier than it had been when she was talking to Dahlia. “Are you ashamed of me?” 

Jackie took a physical and mental step back. “What?” 

“Are you ashamed of me?” 

“I don’t- why would you think that?” Jackie stuttered. What had just happened in the last five minutes? Everything had been going great, and suddenly Jan was mad. Jackie had never seen her mad, and she had seen Jan lose out the lead role in their junior year to a senior girl who could barely sing a high C. 

“Because you were so _quick_ to tell Dahlia this wasn’t a date.” Jan's voice shook the tiniest bit, a frown cemented on her face.

“I didn’t want her bothering you, I wanted to protect you.”

“Yeah, well, I don’t need protecting, Jackie. There will always be mean people, you should know that!”

Jackie furrowed her brows. “What’s _that_ supposed to mean?” 

Jan huffed, looking away and then back at Jackie. “I know you didn’t have the easiest time in high school, Jackie. That wasn’t a jab at you, you’ve just dealt with this before.” 

Jackie nodded. “Well, yeah, I didn’t want you to deal with it, too.” 

“That’s not your place, Jackie. I don’t want you to think protecting me means lying to make things easier.” 

“That’s not what I meant to do at all.”

“Well, you did. All I wanted you to do was stand by me, and maybe hold my hand or something while I dealt with her. But you didn’t. Whether you or she knows it or not, she won.” 

“But, she looked so smug!” Jackie tried to counter, but honestly she knew that wouldn’t do anything. She was just so confused. 

“Yeah, about something that didn’t _matter,_ Jackie! I didn’t _care_ if she was ‘smug’ because she was _wrong._ ” Jan threw up her hands, and Jackie had to narrowly avoid the putter that was way too close to her face. “Why’d you even ask me out if you were so willing to pretend this wasn’t real?” 

With that, Jan grabbed her putter, dropped her ball, and hit a hole in one. 

Jackie’s jaw dropped just the tiniest bit, and she looked at Jan’s stoic expression. “Were you going easy on me?” 

“No.” Jan answered, walking towards the hole. “I just get really good hand eye coordination when I’m peeved.”

Jackie would have laughed at that if she wasn’t so upset. How could she have ruined this already? She felt like a giant idiot. There weren’t many holes left to go, so at least this night would be over soon for Jan, but she felt terrible. It was way too awkward to get into a fight with someone on the first date, what the heck was she to do, now? 

From then on, it was mostly silent. Jackie would send Jan apologetic looks, and she could see the blonde loosening up a bit, but Jan was clearly still upset, too. 

When Jan sunk the ball on the final hole, cementing her victory, she sent Jackie a smile, and Jackie smiled back. “Beginner’s luck.” 

Jan shook her head. “I was just rusty. Now I'm a well oiled machine.” She flipped her putter to prove it, catching it and placing it behind her back. 

Jackie rolled her eyes. “Too bad this well oiled machine is going into retirement. We’re never going mini golfing again.” 

Jan smirked, but the tension grew back when Jackie realized what she said. Would they even be going on another date?

“Come on,” Jackie finally spoke, gesturing her head towards the concession stand. “Let’s go get some ice cream.” 

Jan followed her, but they were too far away for Jackie to reach Jan’s hand. The taller girl knew she had to act fast, or she’d never make it up to Jan. 

When they reached the stand, Jackie offered to order. They had spoken about their favorite ice cream flavors during one of their long text conversations, and Jackie had remembered that Jan loved chocolate (“ _Ew, Jan, chocolate? It doesn’t even taste like chocolate at all.” “At least it tastes like something, Jacqueline, vanilla is not a real flavor.”)_

“Hi, what would you like?” The woman at the stand asked, smiling at the two. 

“Vanilla ice cream on a waffle cone, and, um, chocolate in a cup for my _girlfriend._ ” 

For her _girlfriend?_

The woman nodded, smiling still. “Alright, we’ll have that done pretty soon.”

“Sprinkles on mine.” Jan finally spoke up, smiling at the woman. 

“Chocolate or rainbow?” 

“Rainbow.” 

“Of course!” The woman answered, turning back to tell the kitchen.

The two walked over to a table, and Jan sat down to face Jackie. “For your _girlfriend_ , Jackie? You couldn’t hold my hand or defend us in front of Dahlia, so your big idea for an apology is to call me your _girlfriend_?” Jan sounded incredulous, but Jackie could see hints of a smile on the blonde’s face. 

Jackie clasped her hands, bouncing her leg up and down. “I am the biggest idiot, Jan. I literally cannot function around you in real life, I think.” 

Jan laughed softly. “It hurt, you know, what you said to Dahlia? I really like you, and I wanted you to like me, too.”

“I _do_ like you, Jan. I don’t want you to feel like I’m ashamed of you, because this is something I’ve wanted for a long time... I’m sorry.”

"I'm sorry, too."

"For what?"

"For getting so upset. It was our first date, and I ruined it by getting emotional." Jan looked down, shaking her head.

Jackie scooted closer, dipping her head to catch Jan's eye. "I don't think it's ruined. Something happened, and now we're talking it out. That's life. We're not perfect."

Jan shrugged. "I wanted it to be perfect."

"I did, too. All that worrying about it being perfect made me way too nervous, though." Jackie admitted, digging the toe of her shoe into the ground below her.

Jan sent her a comforting smile, and Jackie loved the way Jan's cheeks rose, squishing her eyes the tiniest bit. "You don’t have to be nervous around me, Jacks. It’s just me. I’m the girl you send nerdy memes to.” 

“They’re not nerdy,” Jackie mumbled, smiling and looking away. “They’re funny and relevant.”

“Memes about AOC are nerdy, Jackie.” 

“Whatever.” Jackie said, and they both laughed. Jackie didn’t want to be nervous anymore. How were they supposed to progress if Jackie put her foot in her mouth every chance she got? “Here, I think our ice creams are ready, I’ll go get them.” She patted Jan on the thigh, before getting up. 

While she walked away, Jan saw a figure move into her peripheral. “You’ve gotta be kidding me.” She muttered, looking up to see Dahlia again. 

“Mini Golf and ice cream? This definitely looks like a date, Jan.” Dahlia singsonged, and Jan only rolled her eyes, looking away. Rolling her eyes so much in one night was definitely painful, but Jan didn’t think she could do anything else in response at this point. 

Jackie came back with the ice cream a moment later, looking between the two. “Here, Jan. It’s melting.” She smiled, giving Jan her cup of ice cream. “Hey Dahlia, the lines getting longer, you should go order.” She sent Dahlia a sickeningly sweet smile, nodding over to the line that literally had like three people in it. 

“Awe, you brought her ice cream? Aren’t you _so sweet._ ” Dahlia scrunched her face up, giving a fake smile. 

“Yeah, it’s what dates do. On a date. Which is… Which is what we’re on.” Jackie responded. 

Dahlia only stared at her. 

“Because I lied. Because you’re a dick.” 

Why did she keep talking? 

Luckily for everyone involved, Jackie realized she had probably said too much and just sat down to start eating her ice cream. Dahlia still stared, until she realized the line was _actually_ filling up now, and stalked away. 

Jackie took a lick of her ice cream, purposefully not looking at Jan. She was definitely afraid she had overstepped some boundaries and messed up again, but to her surprise, the blonde only leaned towards Jackie, causing their shoulders to touch.

“Thanks.” She said softly, as they both ate. 

“It was nothing,” Jackie said, smiling into her ice cream. "I’m sorry I called you my girlfriend earlier.”

“It’s okay. Maybe you can ask me officially next time.” 

That’s when Jackie finally pulled herself away from her cone to look at Jan. “Next time?” 

“You think I’m letting you go that easy?” Jan grinned, turning to Jackie. “You didn’t even get mad that I beat you at minigolf.” 

“Because it’s mini golf _,_ Janet. Plus, you let me keep score.” 

“Only you would care about keeping score.”

“Come on, it’s cool! We get to see your improvement! It’s exponential!” Jackie grinned, taking out the score sheet with her free hand and waving it around. Jan laughed, grabbing trying to grab the sheet from Jackie. Jackie’s arms were much longer and Jan was too far, so she just ended up halfway in Jackie’s lap. 

When the two realized how close they were, Jackie swallowed. “I’m not gonna kiss you with that gross flavor on your lips.” She finally said, and Jan audibly gasped. 

“Who said I wanted to kiss you, anyway?” Jan responded, turning away and pointing her nose upwards. 

Jackie snorted, finishing her ice cream. “Well I was hoping the feeling was mutual.” 

Jan opened her mouth, but all she could do was smile. “It is.” 

“Yeah?” 

“Yeah.” Jan responded, and it felt familiar and comforting to Jackie. 

“You think you could go eat some mint flavored ice cream, first?”

Jan shook her head, and leaned forward. Jackie instinctively leaned closer, closing her eyes until she felt-

Something cold and wet on her cheek?

She pulled away sharply, lifting her fingers to see that Jan had smeared her gross, chocolate ice cream across her face. “What the heck?” 

Jan barked out a laugh, holding her cup in one hand and her spoon in the other, which was covered in ice cream. “You deserved it!” 

“You are _evil_!” Jackie responded, but Jan kept laughing, getting up to throw her stuff away. 

When she returned, Jackie was standing with her phone in her hand. “My mom asked how much longer we’d be out, she’s getting antsy.”

“We can go now.” Jan said, and Jackie held out her hand. 

Jan only looked.

“Well?” Jackie asked, “Aren’t you going to hold my hand?”

Jan grinned, jumping a little in place before reaching out to tangle their fingers. She began swinging their hands in between them as they walked towards Jackie’s car. 

“I know we went mini golfing, but it felt like the fair with that roller coaster of a night.” Jackie said, causing Jan to snort. 

“That was way too cheesy. Please do not put that in meme format.” Jan laughed, then looked up at Jackie.

So Jackie kissed her. 

Jan met her halfway, and Jackie reveled in the way Jan’s soft hands cupped her cheeks, while Jackie’s hands settled at the blonde’s waist. 

When Jackie pulled away, Jan had a megawatt grin on her face, brushing her thumb over Jackie’s cheek. 

Later that night, Jackie sent her the roller coaster joke in meme format. Jan didn’t block her, so Jackie considered it a win.

**Author's Note:**

> This was hard to write. I kept going back and forth between the apology part and the initial fight, rewriting and stuff. For a first date between girls who have essentially been getting to know each other for a week, I felt like a full blown argument was too much. But also, they're still teenagers, and they had this expectation. Once that expectation hit the fan, I felt like Jan would be someone to get upset and emotional. Also, I feel like jan is also someone who would wants to protect her heart and is maybe looking for any reason to find fault in a relationship bc she’s scared of failure. I don't know. I hope I did an okay job. Next fic I think I’ll write from Jan’s perspective just to sort of explain more of why she reacts the way she does to stuff.


End file.
